


nightmares

by tinyplanetss



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: M/M, danny and i just had a lot of Feelings about the fact that dakota just, did this for cavendish HUNDREDS of times, edited or anything i just kinda did, its not like, so I just, stream of conciousness, wrote a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyplanetss/pseuds/tinyplanetss
Summary: Dakota shoots up with a start.A nightmare.Again.This was getting ridiculous. Every night, a new horror, always with the same fate: Cavendish, dead in front of him.
Relationships: Balthazar Cavendish/Vinnie Dakota, Vinnie dakota/Balthazar cavendish
Comments: 20
Kudos: 134





	nightmares

Dakota shoots up with a start.

A nightmare.

_ Again. _

This was getting ridiculous. Every night, a new horror, always with the same fate: Cavendish, dead in front of him.

It might be more tolerable, were it not for the evidence that all of these deaths were completely plausible. Dakota has seen his partner burned, drowned, electrocuted, crushed, eaten, choked on food, run over by various vehicles and non-vehicles, thrown out of planes, tripped into manholes, fallen off cliffs,  _ compressed squeezed destroyed skewered ended dead dead dead-- _ Dakota took a breath. And then a few more, just for good measure. Squeezed his eyes shut, took one last breath, then opened his eyes and looked around. Just a nightmare. He was in his and Cavendish’s apartment–office?–the room where they set up two mediocre beds in 2016. And Cavendish was awake too, which means Dakota must’ve woken him up, probably shouting in his sleep.  _ Shit. _ He was looking at Dakota with the confusion and concern of someone who was awoken by abrupt noise, whose heart was probably hammering in his chest and  _ no wait he could have a heart attack I have to- _

“Hey Cavendish, sorry to wake you,” he managed to wrangle from his throat. “Must’ve had a nightmare. Probably about a time ghost or something,” he did jazz hands for effect, “oo _ oooooo _ oo!”

Cavendish’s face melted from panic to mild annoyance,  _ thank goodness _ , as he snapped, “Dakota, you  _ know _ there’s no such thing as time ghosts. We’ve  _ talked _ about this. Stop being ridiculous.”

“Go back to sleep, Cavendish.”

“Yes, I think that I will. Hmph.”

_ I can’t believe he actually said ‘hmph’. Honestly, Cav,  _ Dakota thought to himself,  _ you are… ridiculous.  _ But he loves him nonetheless. 

“Goodnight, Cavendish.”

\-----------

_ Screaming, Cavendish, burning, collapsing, Cavendish was inside and everything was on fire and Dakota won’t get to him in time and then they’ll both die no no he has to live to go back in time and save him but what if that doesn’t work what if I leave him behind here and then I never see him again what if he finds out and doesn’t forgive me what if-- _

_ Something touching his face. More fire? No. Hands. Familiar hands. Cavendish’s hands. But he’s in the fire? No, he can’t see him, but he can feel-- _

Dakota bolts awake.

He’s in bed, throat raw, from… screaming? 

Cavendish, leaning over him, hands on his face panic in his eyes, mouthing some words Dakota can’t make out, Cavendish,  _ Cavendish, Cavendish alive and here and  _ Dakota feels tears on his face and throws himself forward to wrap himself around his very  _ alive _ partner. And he feels Cavendish stiffen. And then Dakota registers what he’s doing and immediately lets his partner go and scrambles away from him, to the other side of the tiny bed. Cavendish looks  _ really _ concerned this time, and a bit upset, and  _ no, we can’t have that. Don’t make Cavendish sad, come on now.  _ Dakota lets out a shaky breath, wipes the tears from his face, and smiles the best that he can.

“Hey Cav, your bed not cozy enough? Have to come and steal mine? Well too bad, I need all the blankets I can get, it’s freezing in here.”

Cavendish frowns some more, and replies, “You were  _ screaming _ , Dakota. Not just sleep talking. Are you...alright?” he asks, sounding tentative and not entirely like he’s ready to know the answer. So Dakota doesn’t give it to him.

“Doing great! Dreamt that they ran out of hot dogs, the _ whole world _ , can you believe that? Thank goodness they’re still around, hey why don’t I go get some? I’ll get you a hot dog while I’m out, and don’t worry, I won’t forget the mustard, I know you need it to  _ ‘ _ complete the flavor profile’ or whatever, I’ve got it, see you in a few!” And Dakota near sprints out the door.

\---------

Dakota  _ runs _ out the door like he’s in a marathon, like he hasn’t realized that it’s 3.45am and restaurants won’t be open, like he had to get away from…

From Cavendish. 

Cavendish can’t deny that he’s occasionally unpleasant to be around--everybody’s acknowledged it--but Dakota...was always different than the rest. Even when they were at the Time Bureau, even when he heard other agents cornering Dakota and asking  _ why him? You could’ve been reassigned, you’ve done so many high level jobs already, why are you insisting on staying on pistachio duty with the most boring man of all time? Why subject yourself to that stuck-up idiot?  _ And Cavendish would see a flicker of defensive words behind his eyes, on the tip of his tongue, before just smiling to himself and saying  _ It’s Cavendish, what are ya gonna do? _ As his former partners on missions sigh and shake their heads and walk away from  _ all that lost potential _ . As Dakota scans the crowd, locks eyes with Cavendish, and breaks out into a full grin. Grabs his arm, drags him over to the food table,  _ look Cav, pigs in a blanket! Who even thought of that? _

That Dakota, who touched Cavendish and then got away from him as fast as humanly possible. 

When Cavendish heard screaming, he was shaken into wakefulness, and when he realized it was  _ Dakota  _ screaming, he may have panicked a bit. Stumbled out of his own bed, threw himself onto Dakota’s, trying to figure out how to wake him up. He doesn’t want to  _ slap _ him, but he is considering it at this point.  _ He’s been screaming so long now. Is he saying my name? No, he’s just… screaming. Endlessly.  _ Cavendish puts his hands on Dakota’s face and just  _ wills _ him to stop screaming, for whatever nightmare he’s having to end. 

And them Dakota wakes up. His eyes shoot open, and he looks at Cavendish like he can’t believe he’s really here, like he’s drinking in every inch of him. So when he surges forward and wraps Cavendish in his arms, Cavendish is just in too much shock to do anything. But he  _ knows _ he’s done something wrong the instant Dakota jerks back, looking flushed, and starts rambling, ignoring Cavendish’s concern for his wellbeing. Cavendish is barely listening, at this point--something about a hot dog, maybe?--as he looks at his partner’s face, vaguely concealed  _ something _ , tear tracks running down his cheeks as Dakota thinks to wipe them away with the back of his hand mid-ramble. And then he gets up and books it out the door. Away from Cavendish. 

\---------

Dakota bursts out into the cold winter air, and just starts walking.  _ Can’t have anxiety if you just ignore it,  _ he thinks to himself, before shaking the thought away and focuses on wandering.  _ Facts: Cavendish is alive. Cavendish is genuinely worried about me, for a change, which feels kind of weird. Cavendish has died three hundred and thirty-eight times. Cavendish doesn’t know that he’s died at all. Cavendish  _ can’t  _ know that he’s died at all. Cavendish can’t know that I did this for him, and he can’t know… _

_ He can’t know why I did this for him. Why I continue to do this for him. I do it because… _

_ Because I… _

_ Because I love Cavendish, and I can’t let him die. Ever. _

_ And he can’t ever know because then everything would change and I wouldn’t have him anymore and is that selfish? Maybe, but he would hate me and I don’t know… I can’t. I can’t let that happen he has to live and he has to never know and everything will stay the same and everything will be okay forever. _

Dakota abruptly stops, looking to see where his legs have taken him. He realizes, with dawning horror, that his autopilot has betrayed him. Brought him  _ here _ . The first place Cavendish died. The first time Dakota had a panic attack in years. He’s been avoiding it ever since. 

It’s nothing special, just a waist-height fence on a cliff, overlooking the rest of Danville. The fence isn’t broken in this timeline--Dakota kept Cavendish  _ far _ from the edge the second time around--but Dakota can still tell exactly which segment broke. He walks over to the wood in question and kicks it, causing it to fall immediately over the cliff and shatter on the road below. That could’ve been--that  _ was _ Cavendish.  _ His _ Cavendish, dashed across the pavement. Across the rocks. Drowning in lava, crushed under a goddamn  _ air conditioning unit _ , falling from a plane,  _ ripped apart by animals, pulled to pieces by a–  _ Dakota can feel his breath coming quicker and he can’t do anything to slow it, he shakily lowers himself onto the grass,  _ this man is going to be the death of him, why did he have to go and fall in love with the most clumsy, stubborn– _

And then. Those familiar hands again. The ones Dakota wants nothing more than to hold and be held by. They’re on his shoulders, and Cavendish is kneeling in front of him. Dakota can’t look away from his anxious, unsure Cavendish, doubting his movements before moving his hands to Dakota’s cheeks and gently, _ever_ _so gently, he didn’t know his hands were quite so soft,_ wiping his tears away. Dakota breathes out a sigh before covering Cavendish’s hands with his own and gently tugging them both a bit further from the edge. 

Cavendish starts, “Dakota, I- I’m not- Hm. I don’t really know… how… but I…” He pauses. Dakota gives him time to put his words together. He knows him. He knows him so much it  _ aches _ . And so he knows that his partner needs time to put the right words together. He waits. 

When Cavendish takes another breath to speak, Dakota locks eyes with him. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Cavendish says simply, quietly. “I want… to help. I don’t want to wake up to you screaming every night. And I don’t want you to look at me like you’re surprised I’m still… here.” 

Dakota looks down at their hands, which have somehow ended up in a pile. He intertwines their fingers. “I dream… of you, dying. Every night. It is… the worst torture I could possibly imagine. And,” he lets out a dark laugh, “it’s not even unrealistic. I’ve seen…” He pauses, and Cavendish looks nervous before squeezing his hand encouragingly and looking up at him, like he’s unsure if Dakota would be okay with it, as if that’s not everything Dakota’s ever wanted. “...I’ve seen you die. And I’ve… fixed it. Multiple times. Just. Accidents. Dumb, stupid accidents. I couldn’t let you die from something so stupid, you’d never forgive me for that,” and Dakota can feel the tears starting up again and he laughs to himself, “you would’ve been upset if your gravestone had said ‘death via sign’ or something equally ridiculous. Not you, you’re so proper and all that. Me, maybe. But not you. Never you.” Dakota clears his throat. “So I went back and prevented them. A few times. I couldn’t… You’re not dying on my watch, Cavendish.” 

And then he stops. And lets Cavendish take it all in. It’s silent besides the leaves in the wind and the occasional rush of a car down below. Finally, Cavendish quietly asks, “How many?”

“What?”

“How many times. How many times did I die. How many times did you change time to save me.”

“Cavendish, it’s really not-”

“How many.”

“...Three hundred and thirty-eight.” Cavendish’s jaw drops.  _ Three hundred and thirty-eight, what the hell. Three, maybe, five possibly, but over three hundred? Really Dakota? That is ridiculous completely- _

“-irresponsible, a waste of the Bureau’s resources, an  _ insane _ risk, and… and….” Cavendish realizes he’s started shouting somewhere through this. And then he looks at Dakota’s face, and realizes something else. “...and you did it all for me. I’m not even a valuable time agent, we’re on  _ pistacho  _ duty, why would you risk the timeline over  _ three hundred times  _ for me? And  _ why are you not even mad at me right now? _ ”

Dakota just looks at Cavendish with a smile. “What are you gonna do? You’re Cavendish.” Cavendish stares, wide-eyed for a moment, before crushing Dakota into a hug. Dakota thinks he hears himself gasp, but he doesn’t care because  _ Cavendish is hugging him Cavendish is choosing to hold him _ and after a moment of shock, Dakota hugs him back. Cavendish tucks his face into Dakota’s neck, and whispers  _ is this okay _ , of course it’s okay, it’s Cav, Dakota nods wordlessly and holds him tighter. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!! i've never posted a fic before so this was nerve wracking but my friend and i couldnt stop talking about this concept!!!!


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